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~popsiclefiend:iconpopsiclefiend:

Mer  

  • Status: Member
  • Wise Ass
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  • Deviant since Aug 15, 2007, 4:29 PM
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Update (warning rant)

Journal Entry: Thu May 8, 2008, 10:52 PM
  • Mood: Neglect
  • Playing: Pokemon
I'm tired...of it all.
I came home today. I though I would trade my games for some old Pokemon games.
He was nice. I traded all my rare pokemon cards and other cards for them, Gave him my old Digivice just to get thoses games.
But i found out.

All my games, That i loved and truely kept dear to me, are gone.
My nintendo 64 (the reason why i got pokemon gold, silver, yellow, blue-eventhoughitsmissingwithmygameboy.___.;-, crystal and red all over again) is missing parts. after i kept it clean and kept together.
All my game cube games that i loved, are gone... the only one I have left... is my Sonic battles only cause my brother likes playing it too...

My Playstation games that will take forever to find... gone..replaced for worthless pieces of shit games that my brother wanted.
everything...of mine is gone... My brother broke my gamecube so it wont restart....he broke his all the way and now i Have to give mine to him cause "He has nothing other to play, When he has a DS and a PSP of his own. (Which is doing POOR conditions)

out of all the games i had, i only have left;
some of my DS games, my old gameboy games, Legend of Dragoon, Finalfantasy7, Okami, Energized, Jurassic park (ps games that my brother has been trying to steal) and one gamecube game sonic battles 2.

I don't want to by myself anything anymore. and all my family gets me is fabric, paper, old broken down nicknacks and electronic wires that i don't know what goes to what. My room is over flooded with useless junk that my mom does not want to see in her liveing room or any other place cause she cant find where to put it, So im left with these pieces of crap wrapped over my Important items.
and when i do get something i can love. My brother steals it or gets it cause he whines.

I feel like my family hates me.
My brother always gets away with everything. I yelled at him and grandpa threaten'd me to take me to the police station so i could stay there a night. My mom yelled at me cause the only thing i have left from my childhood is pulled to pieces and all my games are gone so its my fault for misplacing them since her angel would not have taken them out of the gaming area or traded them in.
Phil yells at me cause im the hobo of the house for when i do clean up and make things nice and tighty no one ever notices.

I'm not saying that my life is the worse life ever or anything like that but its going through really hard moments. Not just cause i lost everything that was important to me cause it was the only hobby i had that got me into drawing and anime/cosplay. its because no matter how much i try it does not mean shit to anyone.

As my brother goes off skipping in the fields of Fantasy Happiness only to be brought out by grandparents buying him really expensive new/old games, constantly yelling and screaming at anyone who does not get his way/ treating mother like shit and making sure everyone is kissing his ass while i feel like shit cause i can't get one single love thing from any family member and I'm treated as a shit child.

Even though it affects how i feel about my life bringing my low self-asteam down crashing into the bottomless pit of already forced depression from a shit childhood of bottled up emotions and constant alone time and put downs.
I still feel shitty as ever.
I wana go somewhere. make myself happy. get what ever i want back. Get all my transformers actionfigures all my dinosaurs and videogames. All 450 of my hotwheels back.

I wish i could go back to my alone time that i got, with all the nicknacks that made me happy. My first harvest moon game that made me feel i could do anything, so happy that i cosplayed Karen from it with out noticing it was cosplay.
I liked that time. Even how shitty and pittiful it was. How much i was used for it and treated so shittily. I had everything i needed.

A small room, a tv. My prize collections. my quite time. no one bothering me cause i had a lock on the door. even though i lacked clothes and hardly had any of the updated games and they where the run down no one wants to buy cheap ass games and fuzzy posters with 99c plastic or metal cars. It made me happy. Im so stressed now, I need to get everything back into order but i cant clean it up and its stressing me out.

Everytime i clean it up it always gets dirty or tangled or anything like that with out no word of what so ever is being done with it.
It makes me feel useless. My sleeping patterns have gone to shit cause so far everything is my fault again and i cant get away from it even if i try to. I'm alone in the wrong way, everyone and everything is dieing and/or moving away. Items or humans.

I need to get a job, a car, and my GED. But sad to say, I really truly, don't know how to do it.
Right now, All I want is my Item friends back.

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Devious Comments

~SickishFreak:iconSickishFreak: Apr 29, 2008, 8:51:38 AM
-Random Comment-
o:
Nyu~
=BunnyTheAssassin:iconBunnyTheAssassin: Apr 17, 2008, 7:07:46 AM
Thanks for the fave! <3

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..._〆(ಠ_ಠ )
~Yume-Megami:iconYume-Megami: Apr 3, 2008, 8:18:19 PM
:glomp:
:heart:
Hope you feel happy!

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~ ~ ~
"Die and you lose, survive and you win, that is my way of the samurai"
~sabs309:iconsabs309: Mar 22, 2008, 11:06:37 AM
Thanks for the fave =)

--
Marth pwns all, obey him...especially because he's been Brawl'd

:music: JaZz BaSsOoN :music:

~the-twili-tribe I am Link in ~SuperSmashBrosCrew
~chstuba007:iconchstuba007: Mar 22, 2008, 7:34:19 AM
Thanks for the fav!

--
"When something smells, it's usually the Butz."
~Sharingan-Girl:iconSharingan-Girl: Mar 14, 2008, 11:23:28 PM
Thank you for the fav my lovely ;3
=CupidYamiVolta:iconCupidYamiVolta: Mar 10, 2008, 2:48:34 PM
thanks for the fav =D

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"At the time, my life just seemed too complete, and maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves" (The Fight Club)
~gerr616:icongerr616: Mar 8, 2008, 10:25:35 PM Mood: Love
hay cuz i ish going to a con tomorrow :)

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people are like slinkies: useless, yet its fun to watch them fall down stairs
-pass it on

it's all fun and games untill someone gets hurt: then its fucking hilarious
-pass it on
~Sabaku-no-Sarii:iconSabaku-no-Sarii: Feb 28, 2008, 7:55:37 PM
thanks for the faves ;D

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[link] <----------Gaia!! :D
Welcome to Kentucky Fried McBurger King Jr. in a box
Home of the Chibi Adventures------>[link]
~popsiclefiend:iconpopsiclefiend: Feb 28, 2008, 7:26:36 PM
No prob =3 :hug: Keep up the good work!

--
Diamond Pokemon Friend code: 2964 7497 7340 (Iriai)
Digimon Dusk:1203 8136 8293 (Riku)
Rune Factory: 4553-9976-6252 (Chance)
~vegah2:iconvegah2: Feb 28, 2008, 4:36:40 PM
thanks for faving :glomp:

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My other car is a Konig Wolf...
Hidden By Owner
~gerr616:icongerr616: Feb 23, 2008, 3:13:46 PMComment hidden by Owner Mood: Love
This comment is hidden and not visible to general public.
=shadow-freak:iconshadow-freak: Feb 15, 2008, 6:49:40 PM
HAPPY BIRFDAY <3<3<3

The :cake: is a lie.
*fuzzy-tofu:iconfuzzy-tofu: Feb 15, 2008, 3:45:08 PM
Thanks for the fav. >w<

--
Desperation calls the few
that gather in the night;
Restoration makes them new
and harbors them in light.
~AntiPlz:iconAntiPlz: Feb 13, 2008, 11:44:28 PM
Oh babe, you're so cute. ;__; <3

And holy shit, I haven't looked at your artwork in forever.

YOU'RE GETTIN' DAMN GOOD.
~boredhorror:iconboredhorror: Feb 13, 2008, 1:43:01 PM
BONJOUR? how're you?

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:ninjabattle: :ahoy:
~AlphaTwin:iconAlphaTwin: Feb 11, 2008, 10:41:51 AM
yo, thanks for the fav!

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the one who wants to realise his dreams, has to wake up first.
~vegah2:iconvegah2: Feb 10, 2008, 10:25:35 PM
thanks for tha faves and the watch

=^.^=

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My other car is a Konig Wolf...
~dang02:icondang02: Feb 8, 2008, 8:56:19 AM
thanx alot for the fave=D
~Sharingan-Girl:iconSharingan-Girl: Jan 31, 2008, 2:34:42 AM Mood: uNF!
:iconsharingan-girl::iconpopsiclefiend:
♥ILU♥
-laughs- I couldnt beleive there as an 'unf' icon so I had to comment.
unf unf
~ladyknightsgrace:iconladyknightsgrace: Jan 28, 2008, 5:37:23 PM
thx for the fave 8D

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sweet as honey...at least for now...*evil chibi voice laugh*
~exxodthezoneeate319:iconexxodthezoneeate319: Jan 18, 2008, 3:34:43 AM
hey remember me its ah11rules from neopets??? your better than me i'll watch you if you watch me back

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:bored: -> :sleep: im always :bored: -> :sleep:
~popsiclefiend:iconpopsiclefiend: Jan 15, 2008, 6:34:37 PM
Lol!

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Diamond Pokemon Friend code: 2964 7497 7340 (Iriai)
Digimon Dusk:1203 8136 8293 (Riku)
Rune Factory: 4553-9976-6252 (Chance)